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Self Care

Two years ago I did a post on Self Care and talked about what that meant to me and how I practiced it. You will still catch me doing weekly bath bombs and biweekly spa visits, but since the last post a few things have been added


I’m pretty sure Journaling is just a fancier word than diary for adults. You couldn’t pay me to write in a diary as a kid or a teen, but journaling as an adult is therapeutic as heck. It literally feels like with every word I’m releasing whatever it is that’s bothering me that day or noticing a shift in mood and seeing change through each entry. Sometimes I accidentally fall on an old page and think “Look at you making progress V!”


Although my dreams of sitting on a pink velvet or leopard couch didn’t come true, I’m seeing a therapist and loving it. Having a spouse, friends and loved ones to speak to is cool, but it doesn’t always mean they are qualified to help you with all things or can do so without a bias feedback. Seeing a specialist means I’m paying you for your time so there’s no “girl you’ll be alright” quick responses or “let me call you back!”. It’s routine, accountability and progress check all in one visit.

Looking your best

My mother told us growing up “You don’t have to look like your problems!” We were always raised to look our best when stepping out, but this statement to me also means to look like a victor not a victim. It’s means putting a little effort whether it be steaming your clothes instead of just throwing something on. It means not looking like your to do list. My first pick me up after prayer in the morning is always getting dressed or simply looking put together even on days when I’m not feeling my best. Try it if you must, but it’s hard to be slumped with a good statement piece or a bold lip!

Company you keep

Let me start off by saying that the thoughts we keep is Company. Lately I’ve had to edit my thoughts a lot and work on breathing techniques to keep me from thinking or creating a bigger problem than I actually have. Second I’ve had to check patterns and feelings to realize that I’d been holding on to relationships that no longer served me or made me feel good. Reality was that the insanity was my new norm because I allowed it to be. It took util my 30’s to really see that the company you keep will either add or subtract to your life and journey. We want what we want and sometimes think we have a way of changing people to better fit our lives and plans. Found myself thinking “God if only this person just didn’t do this or did it my way” . It’s like no Vanessa it was a misfit and not even instructions could have made that friendship work. Lastly I had to be honest that I was at fault sometimes and that maybe I wasn’t what they needed. Not a fun experience , but ya know growing pains.


* Thrifted linen blazer

* H&M boyfriend jeans

*Gucci mules

How do you self care lately?

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  1. Tamara says

    Hey Vanessa great post I had to really tell myself this year you have to take care of yourself because with 3 kids being a wife and taking care of everything it’s easy to forget about you. The way I self care is reading a good book and healthy snacks or wine, bath, gospel music on blast, mani/padi and picking up yoga allow me to have my time to meditate ❤

    • vanavain says

      I want to try yoga so bad! This was a confirmation. Thanks for sharing!

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